Wednesday, September 9, 2009

What is hard for someone...

I've been meditating today on so many things.  I think that's what you do when you're anxiously waiting for something big to happen in life.  As I got into bed last night, I vowed to sleep in today.  But as I awoke early this morning, I was so restless just thinking about all the things that need to be done prior to 8am tomorrow.  So I jumped out of bed and began doing little things here and there to take my mind off of the inevitable.  John reprimanded me for that and demanded that I sit on the couch with him and enjoy my cup of coffee.  Thanks John!  I SO needed that 10 minutes of rest.

So, what's been going through my head today?  Namely an appreciation for what good things in life I do have, rather than what I don't have.  Quite contrary to my previous post indeed!  When I start to get down about my "lot" (as I like to refer to my current situation), it always helps to think about what "could" be!  Imagine being paralyzed.  No, I cannot even begin to fathom the difficulty that brings.  Having knee problems is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to paralysis!  Or cancer.  I cannot imagine trying to deal with physical pain and the prospect of dying all at the same time.  My lot is SO much better than that.  Thank you God for giving me something lighter to bear!  

Now, let me pause to say that I in no way am discounting my pain.  I do have a huge struggle in life right now.  I think this is the thorn in my flesh.  I've realized this year that what is hard for someone is hard for them.  Yes, I said it!  I have repeatedly had to defend myself to others.  I can't figure this out.  I have endured (yes, endured) 6 surgeries and now am going for another, and I still get questioned about my struggle, as if I'm lazy or not really in pain.  Is this a rant?  Partially.  But I present it mostly to say that through this rough spot, I am learning to have compassion on people whom I once thought were faking it or making a mountain out of a mole hill.  This lesson alone has proven my struggle worth it.  Imagine a nurse without compassion.  There are too many out there today, but I can say that I understand my patients now!  

What is hard for someone is hard for them!


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