Ooh, I haven't thought about this one yet. Give me a minute. Ok, here we go. When I was 2, yes you heard it right, 2 years old, I lived with my parents in a small village in Papua New Guinea as they did Bible translation. Since my mom is white, everyone in the village presumed that she knew how to deliver babies... where they got that idea, I really don't know! Nonetheless, she faithfully made her way to the ever-so-tiny birthing hut each time a woman was in labor. I'll never forget one particular day, she quickly left our small, tin-roof home to head to the center of the village for baby day. I wanted to go, but she refused to let me. So in my sneaky (or so I thought) way, I quietly pitter-pattered behind her until I reached the hut. Since I was already there, my mom let me enter the hut, and that became my very first birth experience. From that day on, I always wanted to be a nurse. Never have I let that desire get away. I'm SO happy that I became an RN! (As a caveat, I want to quickly mention that my psychology professor in uni absolutely doesn't believe that I remember that situation. She insists that children do not have the capability to remember anything prior to the age of four. I highly disagree!)
Here I sit, all snuggled up in pants and a sweater, trying to arm myself from the chill in the air. I know, I know, it's like 75 degrees outside. But like our friend Marcus says, my body thermostat only allows for a 2 degree shift in temperature, or else it gets angry! This has been a great day for pondering. Bear with me as I attempt to formulate a blog post out of the seemingly random spectrum of thoughts that I have today!
So society in general escalates people with advanced degrees. We're all aware of this I'm sure. I don't know if my desire to excel in academia is rooted in a societal value or if I truly have a calling to pursue higher education. For quite some time, probably the past 5 years, I have longed to return to school for a Master of Public Health degree. Furthermore, I would like to earn my Ph.D. eventually. Why is this? Here's the dilemma I'm facing: I want a greater education, but I severely struggle with discipline. If you know me well, you know that I love structure and organization; these two things keep my life void of chaos. But I must admit that I am unable to provide that kind of environment for myself. I always seem to need external help! Why am I writing all of this? I think that although I want a Ph.D, I'm not a brainiac! And I am completely removed from leading a disciplined life! So I wonder if this really isn't the calling God has for my life. Let me expound even further...
In recent years, I have begun to realize the unique gifts that God has given me as a part of his body. Though having fought it for quite some time, I am finally acknowledging AND accepting my gift of hospitality. I think I have always thought that having said gift and using it to serve others means that I am incapable of doing a "respected" job, such as teaching at the university level, performing scientific research in a lab, getting an advanced degree, etc. But for the very first time today (pathetic, I know, being 29 years old!), I see that the Lord has indeed called me for his service, a call that requires me to minister to my brothers and sisters hospitably. I am starting to understand that each of us really do have different roles in life. Obviously! The fact of the matter is that most of us Christians say those very words, but RARELY do we live them out! How many of you pursue seminary degrees because that is "the thing to do if you're a 'good' Christian?" Or how many of you get higher education because that is "what you are supposed to do to get ahead in life?" Or which one of you reading this is teaching Sunday school or leading worship or serving on the deacon board because there is a need, but you really are not gifted in that area? Why in the world do we purse options that only give us earthly glory? Shouldn't God be the one getting glory anyway?
All that to say, I'm actually learning that it is ok to be less educated if that means following God's call to serve in another, less academic capacity. God has been speaking to me and softly telling me that he will equip me for the work he has called me to, and that doesn't necessarily mean equipping me through education. Wow! I cannot believe I'm saying this! I want to learn how to embrace this gift. Guess I'll keep baking, hosting parties, entertaining guests, etc. Ahhh... this is so freeing. SO freeing!
Do I give up my career as a nurse? No way! As soon as I get back on my feet, you'd better believe I'll be headed straight to the hospital to apply for a job! Nursing in itself is a call! But for now, I'll simply be content with my "lot" and staying at home. I do enjoy autumn days, sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and a good book :)
To my few but faithful followers, thanks for reading. I enjoy sharing my heart!