Monday, September 7, 2009


Ok, so I'm struggling with contentment today.  It always seems so silly to me that I complain in my heart about my "lot" in life.  It's silly because God never fails to provide everything I need and so much of what I want, and yet I rarely credit Him for allowing me to enjoy so many things in life.  To be perfectly frank, it is ONLY by the unmatched grace of God that I am alive, mostly well, and enjoying my days on Earth.  What this discontent spirit of mine all boils down to is that we as humans always want more.  The more we get, the more we want, right?  At least that seems to be the trend for me.  I gripe about the fact that John isn't making money, so what does God do?... opens the door for him to start his second business.  I complain that I don't have a stable home to nest in, so what does God provide?... a condo.  And of course, I daily whine about my current inability to walk and heal.  So again, what does God allow?... an expedited appointment with the #1 knee surgeon in DFW and a subsequent placement on the transplant list.  I could go on, but the last thing I want is for this blog to capture the negativity that consumes my mind so often.     

The fact of the matter is that while I'm in the "desert" season of life, God is still God, and He still cares about me far more than I could ever imagine.  The lyrics of a fairly new song couldn't say it better.  I have highlighted the awesome lines!

"Desert Song"
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice!
I will declare!
God is my victory and He is here!

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing!
I have a reason to worship!

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

I love how these words articulate just what I need to do...  In EVERY season, I have a reason to worship my God!  By no means does this discount the pain that I encounter, but consistently praising God does help me to endure!  What an incredible reminder for me!

Yes, life is so hard right now.  I am feeling so down, and some days I don't think I'll make it.  But as I read Scripture, I am forced to meditate on His goodness in my life.  I LOVE that the Bible so clearly states that "He rejoices over you with singing!"  That alone is enough to get me through each day, even when it seems completely unbearable.  

I should find out no later than tomorrow if the possible match is actually a true match.  I'm praying against all odds that it is and that I'll be in surgery on Wednesday.  Words could not even begin to express the urgency my heart feels as I long to be past this stage in life!  Please let it happen this week God!

I'm trying to figure out how to get this song to play as the blog loads.  Anybody know how to do that?

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