I've got my composition window open, all the while listening to the "Desert Song" via my home page. Ahhh... it is so refreshing to listen to the mantra of provocative lyrics that makes this my theme song for this "desert season" of my life. As the song so beautifully illustrates, "All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship!" Praise God!
First thing's first- my knee/knees update. For the most part, I've felt like things are progressing well; two steps forward, one step back- indeed. But, I'm disappointed to report that I have re-injured my right knee. To catch you up quickly, I have had 5 surgeries on the left knee, 2 surgeries on the right. The most recent was the bone transplant on the left knee, quite often referred to as the "bad knee". But on Thanksgiving Day, all I did was take a step forward, and something inside my right knee most definitely tore. I can no longer bear complete weight on that side. Oh goodness, I can't believe it! Each day I tell myself it is getting better, refusing to call the surgeon. Today, however, I've reluctantly come to the realization that nothing gives. And so I will be calling the nurse first thing in the morning to schedule an appointment. This essentially means a very minimum of one more trip to the OR. Since I am acutely aware of every sensation present in these feeble knees, I don't even need a scope to diagnose the problem. Pray for me, if you will. The road ahead seems to have lengthened significantly. "You are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship!" These words are so incredibly true today. They are true for me. And they are true for you. Did God lead the Israelites into the desert to leave them high and dry? NO! He brought them into the wilderness, guided their way, fed them daily bread, and consistently demonstrated His faithfulness. When it was time, He led them into a land flowing with milk and honey. And that is exactly what He is doing for me! Here's the deal, folks- without suffering, there are characteristics of God that we could not possibly understand. If we never suffered, we wouldn't know what it is like to need His new mercies to carry us through every day. We wouldn't understand the many promises He gave us in the holy Scriptures. If we never suffered, we wouldn't need to experience His comfort, and thus be equipped to provide comfort to others when they suffer. Honestly, I could probably take hours to journal my thoughts and yet never completely communicate everything that I have learned about God through my suffering. I would love to sit down and chat with you about such things. Would you like to meet with me?
I keep ignoring this blog, knowing I have so much to say but so few words to communicate my heart! My daily times with God have been beyond incredible. I praise Him that this time off work has afforded me the opportunity to bask in His presence as much as I want to! I am studying the book of John in BSF. Wow! There are pearls buried deep within the words of this blessed gospel. I could probably study this book every day for the rest of my life and still find something new to be impacted by. Where do I start? I'll post one pearl today that I gathered in my quiet time about two weeks ago. When persecution for my faith comes [and regrettably it has oft stayed distant], my pain is greatly alleviated by the deep understanding that it isn't really me who is getting persecuted, but rather it is my Jesus to whom that persecution is directed. After all, the truths I share are not my own but belong to my Savior in heaven. That knowledge removes the load I would otherwise carry. However, from the time Jesus began His earthly ministry, He himself was sorely rejected by men. Can you imagine? Can you even imagine being blatantly rejected by person after person, despite the fact that you truly are the Messiah? As I sat in my comfy lounge chair one morning, I began to weep for my Jesus. He had nobody to bear the pain of rejection for Him. It was He who accepted it and carried the full weight upon His shoulders. My heart is again pierced with the stabbing truth this reveals.
During this Advent season, an old Christmas carol rings true to my spirit.
O Come O Come Emmanuel
O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.
There are several more verses to this beloved song, but this one in particular stirs passion within the depths of my soul. I love how the prophetic words in the Old Testament brought life to people in Biblical times who were waiting for their Messiah. And these very same words bring life to us as we also eagerly wait for His coming- this time His second coming. Meditate on these lyrics for a moment. Do they also speak to your heart? What in the world are we doing? Why are we muddling around in our comfortable homes and cultures when there are millions of people who have yet to even hear the name of Jesus? Our Messiah has already come to this earth to bring life to all men; to save them from the depths of Hell and give them victory over the grave! Oh, sweet Jesus, here I am! Send me!
hi jessie! it's natalie hsieh. i was blessed and encouraged when reading your blog. i am glad you are sharing your heart with us! there were many a nugget for me to be encouraged. have a wonderful week!
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